I was looking at a certain someone's Facebook page and I got flooded with past memories and...pains. I must have been on a dig-up-old-hurts adventure because I then went to look at some other painful old acquaintances' pages. Why? Who knows, the only reason I can come up with is to "see how they're doing"...which at the moment, seems rather pointless. They're exactly as I left them.
Something I came to light upon this summer revisited my thoughts: If you surround yourself with people who are in a place you want to be in, it can only help you get there yourself. In the past, I seemed to be surrounded by people who were lost spiritually, emotionally, and even vocationally. Most of them were filled with anger at themselves, life, God, and even others. Of course, it was near impossible to not be that way myself. Even though I did have a strong relationship with God, I began to drift away. I became angry at myself and those around me. That kind of attitude is extremely contagious. And among my circle of friends, we made sure we kept each other "well infected". But, that is in the past, and now is about surrounding myself with things I want to emulate.
Times in my new place is not easy, by any means. But, it does provide me with this seldom experienced "new chance". One of the biggest things I'm thankful for is a wonderful roommate. Having someone who wants the same things out of life and music is great. Having someone who's on the same level spiritually is even more wonderful. If nothing else, when we have our moments of "divine inspiration" we have someone to share it with. While such a simple thing, having someone listen to the things that are important to you, is very fulfilling.
While looking up old acquaintances might not be the best thing for me; as a sign of progress, I removed some memorabilia from my violin case that might be counter-productive in my letting go of the past. There's no point in holding on to something old and painful at the expense of grabbing onto what's the good that's right in front of you. I hope I can continue seeing the beauty around me and thanking God for my second chances.
Failure is only the opportunity to begin again, only this time more wisely.~unknown
