Whoa, so I hadn't realized that I hadn't posted anything in such a long time--like 5 months. Oh well, I've been enjoying writing in my private venue aka diary. Not that this isn't private, no one ever reads this but me, but at the same time I write it in a way in case someone ever read this it would be okay...but I digress.
The thought at hand: When is enough enough? When do you arrive? As artists do we get to or should we ever separate ourselves from our art? My first impulse is that as artists we are trying to convey life and its experiences to the best of our ability. But when that striving for perfection gets in the way of experiencing the very life we are trying to convey, it's time to smell the roses. BUT--I hear voices of experience tell me: You have to choose. It's one or the other.
I think an experience I can best relate to this issue right now is church worship. Go with me on this. Music is my thing, it is how I feel I most naturally minister to those around me. That being said, I don't have a church "outlet" to directly minister to the church body. I would like to have one, but at the same time I am enjoying the other end. While singing in the congregation, I'm enjoying feeling the worship of those around me- the praise of God wash over me as it ascends to the heavens. Sometimes playing music removes me from the experience of other people's worship. And while I hunger to praise God the way I most naturally do it with the church body, I'm willing to sing poorly (for I am a terrible singer) if I get to sing praise along with the believers beside me. I almost feel like being in the congregation is the best communion.
Hearkening back to question at hand--I love performing. The path to the performing entails practice and dedication with the idea that there will never be enough. And while I could never remain in the audience, I would simply ache too much, it is still necessary for me to momentarily remove myself from the performer's role and accept the gift of another performer/performance. At times that is the best perspective for what we do- to experience it. Locked in a practice room, perspective easily gets hyper-focused and even hazy. Stepping back to look and even experience what we are trying to achieve ourselves I think can only further inspire us.
So, while I don't think when we separate ourselves we are ever not artists, I do think we need not remove ourselves from the experience of listening to the music we are making.
