Establish my steps

Proverbs 16:9~ "The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps."

How does this apply to me right now? Well, first of all I had coffee this afternoon and I can't sleep. Second, I've been reading verses and cross referencing them with similar verses. It's wonderful to be able to follow the enthusiasm for reading the word when it comes. It's moments like these that I wish I did this more often.

My future: how do my decisions- from past decisions to day to day choices come into play?

I cannot deny the quiet but present call to minister. It was a wonderful process over a few days being spiritually guided by my reading in My Utmost For His Highest. From God asking me if I loved Him, To my realization that I was not able to love the way God wants me to. Then God reminding me that Jesus died that I may love God the way I was intended. Praying the Christ would help me love God the way God wanted me to and God telling me to feed His sheep.

My current summer plans seem the first in question. First from a selfish reason, I didn't want to go to a festival. Then, not wanting to lose an opportunity, I decided I wanted to go. But, now, I feel God doesn't have this in mind for me, at least this year.

Then, my biggest fear. Does that mean I have to leave behind the years of work in music? Does God want to use me in a way without music? Now, I'm tired. I'm starting to get a little whoozy and dizzy. My brain, body, and emotions have been in turmoil all week. I want to do what God wants me to do. But, does that mean leaving behind what God has given me including talents, work, and investments?

I think that begs the question of what have I been using these talents, work, and investments for? I keep running into this idea that doing things "for" Christ isn't enough. Doing things "with" Christ is what He wants. I don't even know if I really understand the difference.

Thinking that music is the only way that God will and can use me is wrong. I know this, but maybe I'm not living this the way I should be. Maybe God is trying to get me out my self made box I've put myself that's confining the ways in which I'm letting God use me.

There's a lot where I'm not sure what to do, or what to think.
Here's what I am sure: God's commandment "Do you love Me?...Feed my sheep."
God's given me gifts to use and to minister. God has a plan for my life.
I'm just afraid they may not be the same as what I think they are.