What and Where

So, once again, the mood to write strikes when I'm trying to accomplish homework.

Just had a talk yesterday with the parentals about my future, job prospects, loans, and all things financial. A heavy topic for anyone in my opinion. I was in a poor mood to start with, trying to get ready for dinner and that evening's concert, while trying to communicate on a lousy phone.  CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?? The conversation didn't exactly go very smoothly.

But, we had a redo today. A little calmer, a little less stressed, and ready to ask and answer some questions.

I realized I have no idea where I want to do what I want. Yes, I said it weird. Basically, where do I want to live? I don't think I care as long as I can do music, make a living, and have a good community. I say think, because well, I don't think I care where I live. I love where I am, but I think I love it because of the amazing community, I'm playing music, and making a small living. If I could do that anywhere, I would probably love it there too.

I'm scared to come straight out with what I want. Why? Because if I do, that means I have to go all out straight for it. And I don't know if that's possible and pay my bills, feed myself, and have a place to live.

My parents reminded me, maybe I'm not going to have the perfect job right after school. And by not perfect, that could even mean not in my field. Waitress, nanny, whatever. They went on to say I may not be able to live in the place I want to live. That was a blow.

I've looked at people who finish school looking for the perfect job in their chosen career and gone, "They're so spoiled to think they can just get whatever they want immediately after school. People have to work to get what they want. Including jobs and careers."  Why had I not, until now, realized I was following the same thought process? I think I thought I was different.

Well, I'm gonna keep spitting out my dreams and maybe I'll get better ideas on how to make them a reality.
I want to play in a band. Like I'm doing at church. But paid. Tour. Make CD's. Worship God. Make music.
With that, I want to be in the studio making music on other musician's cd's too. Be a studio musician.
I would also like to keep myself in the classical music world. I want it all.

Maybe I'm waiting for someone to ask me, invite me into their pre-formed band that's ready to go be famous. Maybe I'm waiting for someone to do all the work for me.
I have not seriously considered starting my own band. But, maybe I need to. If that's the case, I have a lot more work to do than I thought.


The other options mentioned today were
Military gigs (the uniforms and job security are appealing)
Symphony in C, New Jersy
Chicago Civic
New World, Miami (fellowship)
Orchestra Librarian (dislike the work, but it's work)
Suzuki Teacher

Maybe I should move to Nashville. Audition for the symphony (that's how Edgar Meyer started (he was born in tulsa too!)), start a band, join a band, tour in between concerts, happily ever after set go.

No, but seriously. Maybe that's what I need to do. And in order to get there I should get lessons with somebody in the orchestra, play for people, etc. Also, check out teaching opportunities...But before that I should figure out what to play for them. That means more practice. Doesn't it always?